Sunday, March 27, 2011

Getting Back on the Bandwagon

I'm afraid I haven't been doing very well lately. Last week I gained back the 3 pounds I'd lost the week before. I partly contribute that to starting my period the evening before the morning I weighed in... I'm not going to get too down about it. But even so, I just haven't been careful about eating. I haven't been focused. I even binged one night. I ordered a stuffed crust pizza and bought two slices of cake from the grocery store (Confession: If I could have afforded it, I might have purchased a whole cake.) The good news is, the pizza wasn't that great. It didn't stop me from eating 2/3rds of it, but it did stop me from eating the rest the next day. I woke up the next day and had oatmeal for breakfast and made a relatively healthy bean-based dish for lunch/dinner. Since then I have been doing better. I have been snacking wayyyy too much, but not on anything overwhelmingly disgusting for my health. I'm pleased to find that even though I'm struggling to keep my portions under control, I haven't been totally ridiculous about the foods I choose (excluding the pizza...)

Anyway, my new favorite oatmeal is peanut butter & jelly. Hot oats, one heaping tablespoon of natural peanut butter and one tablespoon of strawberry preserves. It tastes just like the classic sandwich. I like it even better than the cold PB & banana oats I was into last week.

Anyway, that's all. I've been avoiding blogging because I've been embarrassed. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to do some form of exercise tomorrow.. FOR SURE! No excuses. I'm ready. I'm craving it. I think it's the new push I need. I think I'm going to walk to the stadium and do some laps and stadiums... that will definitely wear me out.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sick Puppy

My dog/buddy is very sick today! I won't go into the details because they are extremely disgusting, but it was very bad. I took him to the vet after work and they did a bunch of tests and don't really know what's wrong. They wanted to take x-rays but I'm going to see how he feels tomorrow, first. I felt bad about that decision, but ever since we left the vet he seems to be feeling a lot better so maybe it was okay. I already spent $320 on his tests and prescriptions.. the x-rays would be $100 more, with little promise of result. If he gets any worse I will definitely take him for the x-rays.

I've been a bad blogger. My mom has been in town since Friday and just left this morning. We've been busy! We had a great time! I will be honest, they weren't my healthiest days. I didn't binge or eat a pint of ice cream or anything- so that's good! I just didn't make the best choices at every meal and definitely ate larger portions than usual. Oh well.. tomorrow is a new day!

I weighed myself on Friday... 292.4! That means I lost 3 pounds last week. Not too bad, since I haven't exactly been suffering and I hardly did any exercise at all. I am prepared to plateau this week, but we'll see. I'm not going to let it discourage me, regardless.

I'm too lazy to upload my photo from last Friday.  I will post it this upcoming Friday, with the new one.

Amanda

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Veggie Pizza and Cold Oatmeal

Not together!

I've been so busy these last few days, I almost forgot I had a blog! Well, nothing new or exciting going on in my world of weight loss right now.. just staying on track and eating the same few recipes over and over again. One of my favorites is veggie pizza on whole wheat naan (or any suitable whole wheat flatbread). I spread a thin layer of pesto, followed by marinara sauce, a thin layer of cheese, tons of peppers (red! orange! green!) onions and mushroom, and then top it off with sun-dried tomatoes and goat cheese. For a 450-650 calorie dinner (depending on the flatbread used) with A TON of flavor, it really can't be beat.

 Naan pizza in the making... (this one is on white)

 Mmm!! 


I've also been dabbling in "overnight oats" ... I am VERY pleased with this breakfast! I've been eating oatmeal in the morning for a while now (and on and off over the last year) but I don't find it incredibly delicious. I mostly eat oats because they're easy to make at work and are extremely filling- not to mention healthy (fiber, protein). Overnight oats, on the other hand, are incredibly delicious! I mix 1/2 cup rolled oats with 1/2 cup water and a 3oz greek yogurt. I also mash in a banana and a tablespoon of peanut butter. I let it all chill in the fridge overnight (the oats soak up all the liquid and come out very creamy) and then eat it first thing in the morning. I definitely prefer this cold mixture to hot oats. I'm going to start experimenting with other add-ins in the coming weeks. I also want to mix it up and have a hot non-oat breakfast every now and then (I'm thinking egg & cheese on a crumpet) but it's so hard for me to get up early enough to cook anything. Oh well. We'll see.
 I didn't take a picture of overnight oats... here are some hot oats I had the other day! With half a banana, some walnuts, and a few dark chocolate chip/chunks.

I'm going to pick up some new things on my next trip to the grocery store, and try out some new recipes. I've been seeing a lot of funky lentil dishes... I've never cooked lentils before but I like that they're cheap and versatile.

 Speaking of groceries and being cheap... I am $66 into my food budget for this week (out of the $100 total allotted) and I don't foresee myself spending the last $34! This is very exciting. I am typically not good with money. I have really enjoyed making all of my meals at home instead of eating out, and I just can't get over how much cheaper it is and how far food stretches when you don't eat six thousand calories a day. If I make it to the end of the week (Friday) only having spent $66, I'm going to put the remainder toward a pair of sunglasses. I really need sunglasses.

My mom is visiting me this weekend. I'm very excited! She is also changing her habits and getting healthy. Instead of spending the weekend gorging ourselves like we used to, we're going to eat sensibly and find other fun things to do (like shop for sunglasses!). Can't wait.

Anyway, that's all for now!

Amanda

Saturday, March 12, 2011

First Weigh In & Grocery Shopping

So I bought a scale today. I was anxious all day at work, and even on the drive home once I'd purchased it. Like I said, I haven't weighed myself in over a year. If I remember correctly, the last time I weighted myself was summer '09, when I was going to the gym regularly and had lost 20-30 lbs. I think I was in the 270's then. I knew I'd gained weight since, but I had no idea how much. My clothes still fit (when you're this size, you can gain or lose 30 lbs and chances are your clothes are still going to fit- it's a blessing and a curse) but I could feel the extra weight on my body and I started noticing it when I looked in the mirror, too. Anyway, I was expecting the worst when I stepped on the scale today, but to my surprise I was at 295.4. I'm not exactly proud of myself- that number is still horrifying- but I am just glad to be in the 200s. I weighed myself 3 times just to make sure. I tend to lose weight quickly at first when I change my eating habits, and so I wouldn't be surprised if I shed 10-15 pounds in the last couple of weeks. Regardless, I'm going to consider 295 my starting point, with a goal of 160. That's a 135 pound loss.

Interestingly, I came across this blog today, run by a girl who lost exactly 135 pounds herself. I thought that was a cool coincidence. I became all kinds of inspired after reading a few of her posts. Her way of eating is very similar to mine- everything in moderation. Her food looks amazing.

Anyway, I had a light breakfast and lunch today. Oatmeal with a bit of maple syrup for breakfast and leftover whole grain vegetable spaghetti for lunch. The pasta wasn't that great so I didn't eat much of it. I have been adding hummus to my pasta sauce lately which makes it creamy and adds an interesting flavor.. but it wasn't enough to save this batch.
On to dinner. Typically, I would spend a Friday night eating a gigantic take out meal (tons of bread, salad, pasta, potatoes) followed by an exorbitant dessert (pint of ice cream or an entire carrot cake bar, for example). It's embarrassing to write these things but I think it's important to put it out in the open. I never want to be like that again.  I remember how horrible I felt after eating that much food . It was delicious, yes, but it never seemed worth it in the end. Tonight my plan was to meet a friend for a late Indian food dinner- I thought it would be a great chance to test my portion control at a restaurant- but she canceled. Since I wasn't going out to dinner I wasn't going to gorge myself on takeout, I decided to go to the grocery store and test out my new budget, which I'll talk about in a minute. I came home and made one of my old favorites: a grilled tofu and muenster cheese sandwich.


I used my favorite fresh bread, which comes in extremely big/long slices, so I only made a half sandwich which is probably comparable in size to a normal sandwich. I used to eat two huge sandwiches (4x what you see in the picture) at one meal. Luckily, this is enough to fill me up now, along with a big side of arugula. I am LOVING arugula!

I dressed it with a tablespoon or so of caesar dressing by Simply Dressed.


I really like this line of salad dressings. No high fructose corn syrup, preservatives, or artificial flavors. I have the balsamic too.


Anyway, my dinner was awesome. I made the sandwich the same way I normally do, but really took it easy on butter and had the deli slice the muenster cheese thinner than I would normally get. I will probably have this again for lunch tomorrow, since there is a bunch of leftover tofu and the rest of my arugula is starting to wilt.


On to the budget: My goal is to spend $100 a week on all food and household supplies. That includes my going-out-to-eat food and things like paper towels, trash bags, etc. I did a little online research yesterday and realized that $100 a week for one person is extremely high. Honestly, I used to eat out almost every meal and probably spent more like $150-$175 a week just going out to eat (not including the groceries I would sometimes buy and waste, or any household products). Compared to that outrageous number, $100 doesn't seem so bad. I estimate I will spend $20 of that eating out at one nice restaurant once a week, and $15 a week goes to my dog's food and treats. So that leaves me with $65 a week in actual groceries. I could probably cut that back even more, and maybe I will in the future, but for now it's barely enough. I would rather spend a little more on groceries and get fresh, good foods that I actually like, than skimp and have to buy a lot of frozen and packaged stuff. Some of my favorite foods that aren't exactly on the cheap side: dates, greek yogurt, jarred sun dried tomatoes, cashew butter, quality cheese, etc. I also pay extra for cage free eggs and organic milk or soy milk. I will feel really great if I can stick to this $100.

I'm about to pass out. This is my weigh in photo for this week. I am going to take a photo wearing the same thing every Friday, to track my progress. This is very hard for me. I hate pictures of myself as it is, but this is even more humiliating because I am forced to see every roll and flab dead-on. I never realize how fat I really am until I see it in a photo. Oh well. It's extra motivation. All I can do is live better. A year from now I will look back at this photo with pride at how far I've come.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Why I've Started This Blog

I've always been fat. I was a pretty fat baby, then I was a fat kid, a fat teen, a college fattie, and now an obese adult. Like many people in my situation, I let my weight hold me back from living the life I really want. I had the "my real life will start when I'm skinny" mentality, and I was always going to work on the getting skinny part tomorrow. Thousands of tomorrows later, I'm worse off than ever.

As a South Florida native, I've always dreamed of living up north. I was going to move out of state for college, but then an in-state scholarship clipped my wings. Then I was going to move immediately upon graduating, but a convenient job offer (when nobody in my field was getting such a thing) in my college town convinced me to stick around. I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and I'm glad that things worked out the way they did. My job has allowed me to save enough money and garner enough experience to make a cross-country move somewhat reasonable, and so a couple of weeks ago, I finally set a date. I'll be moving to Chicago on the first of August, 2011.  I may or may not have a job lined up at that point; I'm taking a leap of faith. Either way, I'm going, and that realization led me to an epiphany: I don't want to be fat and alone in my dream city. I don't want to hide in my bedroom inhaling a pint of ice cream when there's a whirlwind of life happening outside my door. I want to go out and meet people. I want to walk into a job interview in a fitted suit feeling confident and attractive. I want to be comfortable in a plane seat when I fly home to visit family. I have all the tools I need to live the life I've always dreamed of, so why am I holding myself back?

This is my new beginning.  I've started a weight loss journey that is about much more than weight loss- it's about taking care of myself and learning to love my body. It's about changing my habits, my attitude, and ultimately my self image. It's not a diet or a "program". It's not something I'm going to fall off of in a few weeks or months- I'm changing my lifestyle.

I would be lying if I said I've never "changed my lifestyle" before, or yo-yo dieted, or went to the gym for a few weeks and then quit. I've done those things. But I truly feel that this is "it". I feel different. Something clicked. Gone are the days of making one mistake and subsequently throwing in the towel completely. Gone are the days of "all or nothing". That never worked for me.

I'm about two weeks in right now, and feeling fantastic. I haven't suffered, haven't been tempted to quit, haven't felt deprived. This is an amazing thing for me. I feel like I'm "getting it". My plan has been to listen closely to my body and obey it. This means I eat whatever I want, and I eat as much as I want. I don't eat anything just because I think I should- I only eat foods I really like. It didn't take long before I started wanting healthy, whole foods and filling up on them fast. I don't count calories, but I am loosely aware of them and estimate that I take in well below 2,000 now, and always feel satisfied. A month ago? I probably took in 5-6k on an average day. My stomach has "shrunk", and after a few days without greasy and sugary foods, I found that I didn't crave them any longer. It's a fantastic feeling!

Now, about my weight... I haven't actually weighed myself in over a year, but my guess is that I'm around 300. I'll find out for sure tomorrow. For my large 5' 10" frame, my ideal weight is 160. That's almost half my size. It's intimidating to think about it that way, but it doesn't worry me- I'm going to focus on 10 pounds at a time until I reach my goal. My plan is to weigh myself and take a photo every Friday. I started this blog for myself, as a way to journal (photo-journal maybe?) my food and exercise habits and ultimately track my weight loss, but I wouldn't be surprised if I sometimes stray into other aspects of my day-to-day life. If anyone else stumbles upon me- that's great! Just keep in mind that I'm anything but consistent!